week thirtysix: self portrait pt.1

self portrait pt.1

i was a white looking kid from a small white town
with a puerto rican mom
and i thought a lot about
how faded everyone around me was
i was a socialist
and a shy little dude
i was rocking dead prez in a subaru
and i married the first girl i ever loved

and i’m not smooth and i’m not tough
but i thought i was

i was working summers at the ice cream place
i ran from the cops on roller blades
and i heard my neighbor joe shoot my dog
i was a 4 o’clock poet on a.i.m. 
drunk if i had half a heineken
and i went looking for her one night in joe’s backyard

and i’m never going wake him up
but i thought i was

i thought i’d be ernesto che
i’d dance like michael write like jay
and i said hey mama your son’s coming up
and i thought i was

so i went back to my hometown
my hat in my hand
my head bowed down
i’m sorry to everyone for selling you short
i was hoping there’d be more